I am not saying that I have a cushy life or anything. I just have had to, over the years put up my guard, or my "candy coating". For most of my life I have not been able to trust people with my feelings and emotions, my "friends" time and time again betrayed me, or hurt me. So it is hard for me to let people in, and I am extremely wary of people I do let in. I only have a handful of friends I completely trust.
I feel like sometimes people in my life want me to be something I am not, they want me to fit into a cookie cutter that I don't want to be a part of. I am happy with the shape I am, I like being a plain round sugar cookie. I will never be am oatmeal raisin, I will never have nuts (although I am nuts sometimes!). I can only open up and let those people in who love and appreciate the sugar cookieness that is me, if you try to change or manipulate me, you will get nowhere, in fact you will probably take two (or more) steps back.
Another thing that I wish people would know about me is that I am EXTREMELY loyal, and if I got your back, I got your back, no question. If someone makes me defensive about the people I am loyal to, that spells TROUBLE!
I guess what I am saying is that I just want people to love me and appreciate me for who I am, not worry about who I am not.
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3 comments:
I could have written this post. Seriously. It is truely difficult to get through all the layers, but once your there... most likely it's for life. Unless of course you are going to have me add another layer... that always sucks.
Loyal friends are the best to have :)
I love you just the way you are! Finding who you are and being strong in that is so important! When I finally decided that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, I suddenly acheived more of what I wanted to do, not what everyone else wants! Be you! That is what I love about you! You are the Melissa I have always loved! The zoo was a blast! Let's do something more soon!!!
love,
Becky (0:
Smile
PS Do you like my new background? I don't love it, but it's cute. Richard said it kind of wigs his eyes out! Oh well, when we move to Iowa, we are looking for a John Deere background! (0:
BTW Jer commented to me after the reunion that he wishes you guys lives closer. And of course, I had to agree with him :)
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